Antara kamu, Yunisa KD, dan novel-novelnya

I can’t sleep

Yunisa KD • Feb 28, 21 • CoretanTidak ada Komentar

Normally, his advice would be sleep it over. But I just can’t and I don’t know what to think. My body is physically burning, tired.

Credit: From here

I have lost another older friend suddenly in 2020. Perhaps it was his cardiac. Perhaps he was a victim of high money conspiracy due to his new profession. He was on trail of some big corruption case, I heard.

When I grieved, I told him about this friend of mine he never met. How my friend called me Suhu Cilik and I called him Suhu Gede as we often think alike, predict the same thing based on human behaviour. And koko doc showed empathy as always.

And suddenly this CNY, there was no greeting replies at all. Usually there is one fancy greeting for my uncreative one. Fancy means I need some Chinese translation LOL

And then another allergy question left unanswered. My bestie asked me to email him. Still no reply. I felt like writing a monologue.

It is so very unlike him. It must be the first no reply in 17 years. Phew. That long, huh? I am already old and he is still much older too, haha.

Who am I to him anyway? Just another patient with 1001 problems, I guess. Before my besties and their families become his patients too, he was already helping them just because they asked him – mentioning my name. For example, food poisoning in China. Jellyfish bite when traveling overseas.

And I gain a real new best friend because she knew him in the past and she wanted to reconnect. She describes to her husband our relationship started as “online dating” LOL. Good old friendster.

Venny recalled his kindness when she was injured in her teen years. A thoroughly kind-hearted person long before he became a doctor. You can’t change people’s disposition. So before he is a doctor, he has been a decent human being. He always helps people. I am convinced of that.

I think my name sounds legit to be taken seriously. At least all of my besties say so.

But for me wholeheartedly, he is a truly good person. A rare quality. Click with my whole circle. Someone who is reliable, willing to listen, and honest. He will say A if it is A. Someone who knows me with my brutal bluntness. Someone who offered my dad strengths and courage when my grandma was counting her last days. Better than so-called siblings, my dad said. Just like what the Bible said. A friend in need is a friend indeed. I really appreciate that but I think I forgot to say that loud in 2011. Well, I must not forget to thank him if he replies me again.

I don’t want to regret just like when I forgot to tell Suhu Gede when he was still alive that Josh is supposed to be Joshua not Joseph (his name). And how I forgot to ask his personal opinion of ahok. I detest so much when people comparing Aji and ahok. Aji is million times better! Aji was always polite. He spoke fluent kromo Inggil (highest form of Javanese), Indonesian, English, Mandarin fluently. He was staying true to his wife and their 3 boys till the end.

I know for sure that they never ever take any advantage of me. More senior, world class, and yet never underestimate me who is much younger. (This point is important).

Koko doc advised me to find someone with similar background to marry LOL. (And I did not). I think he knew my unhappiness being pursed by a rich man.

He is one of few people whom I can unburden myself without being judged. Someone who is always polite, even answering my happiness when working in Google, my last year’s unimportant Netflix recommendation, or even few years back – my findings on Murakami’s biking book LOL.

Oh yes, he was kind enough in lending me NUS library Nobel book 2005 before I knew Tante Jo. Although my passion for Game Theory is almost non-existent now.

Eventhough he claimed that he is a private person, sometimes he relates to some of my life experiences which is quite surprising, such as telling his US incident to my parents when I was traveling to the US for the very first time.

Your experience is almost like Mary Berry, koko doc, if you know her from the Great British Bake Off. I haven’t told you anything about GBBO and my recent baking/cooking (not as neat as my bestie doctor in Tokyo, of course). You doctors have better fine motoric skills and nimble fingers! You two play piano well, too. Well, I played decent music, but not up to your level.

You had fun sides, too. You were curious of my sticker tattoo on my arm LOL. It was so obvious, so I gave you some as well. My sis and I always have a good laugh on our interactions with you.

How you “bully” my sis to soft diet, not overating sushi – Japanese rolls in your terms, to have few licks of ice cream or chocolate sweets! How you recall in details her every single case without her thick file! Even after all these years. And perhaps gossiping it with another handsome doctor, my sisters said!

How you scolded me for not believing my other sister when she was really sick. And how I conveniently SMS you that I need to take care of my two other hungry sisters and we wanted to eat at Din Tai Fung, so I left the sick one with dripping meds in your clinic and would pick her up later after lunch. We treated your clinic like a daycare. LOL.

You were my excuses for maintaining my “high number” weight – as you told me I looked too thin when I lost 2 kg on low carb diet in end 2004. You kept advising me not to restrain myself. There is an axis between brain and guts. The most important thing is to look healthy, a similar comment you have on my sister. And you always ask how everybody in my family is doing: my parents, my sisters.

Even after I gain and lose and regain baby weight – viscious cycle, unlike my parents, you did not comment about me being fatter. As long as I am healthy. You even tried to convert me to go organic which I refused LOL.

I always went to see you if I was unwell for weeks, and you always prescribed nutrition or probiotics in 3 weeks or a month long! I felt that in your expert medical eyes, I was malnourished or weak due to erratic guts lining or something.

And when I brought my two kids in 2017, you walked to the sleeping G2 on my husband’s lap saying you wanted to see my son closer (kaypoh mode) and said G1 looked more like me, and G2 was more like husband. Come on! I disagreed passionately saying my dad said G2 resembles me more! Well, I forgot to update you that Venny said I should be grateful because both kids are good looking like me! Oh my bad as well. I never email you my kids’ photos, unlike when I was proud of my lil sis last time.

Well, Lord Jesus, I am not prepared to lose him. At least not now. Oh God, please. This crazy COVID. This uncertain time.

I am worried about him as an individual. I do not know the situation now. My another bestie said I should call his clinic. Should I? What if he is grieving? I am bad at consoling death matters.

I may not be able to repay all of his kindness all these years, but I pray that whatever difficulties he is facing now, God will help him in His own way.

Although thinking back, I am darn lucky to be surrounded by plenty good people and I am not very good in treasuring them. Although at the very least, I try to remember all birthdays, New Years, and just being my real self as always. And they – 2 RIP now – always told me that I am cheery, sweet, warm, full of zest… before my marriage of course. I am trying my best to stay true to who I used to be. Not the negative version post marriage. I have to be the stronger one, as Tante Jo said, because mothers are the foundation of a good family and marriage. Best advice from a Christian experienced married woman, much better than any preacher and wives! How an ordinary woman walks her talk more than those in official religious posts.

My concern is about lifelong friendship in this world. Not sure about after death, still. Except for Aji. Aji has finished his race well. Although I still personally think that Aji was suited more for corporate world than politics (I still hate politics. Lots of mathematicians do).

Pak Harry – long gone, never forgotten. He never pursued materialistic world due to his profession as a journalist and he did it with full awareness and pride. He knew many much more well-known Indonesian authors but he said I actually have more potential LOL. Somehow he, Ki Ageng, and you, koko doc, you all spent some years in the UK and had similar opinion of my early writings. Thinking of that always warms my heart. Great minds think alike. Great UK further educated gentlemen think alike, so it must be true.

Please do write back to me. Even a one liner as usual when you were busy to show that you are still alive and reading my text/mail.

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