This topic comes after I had a long heart-to-heart talk with my one of my best friends, Magda. I am blessed that I have many best friends around the world. My definition of best friends may not be your definition, but it works for me and my best friends.
Best friends for me are special. We can reconnect, click again straight away despite we seldom meet face-to-face. Any form of communication works for me. Of course, this needs trusts and both parties must be willing to be honest with each other.
The key is honesty. It must go both sides. And both sides care of each other. The chemistry between my best friends and I are undeniable despite we may have different demeanors. For me, the most important thing is you have to be a good human being to be my best friend. And to be best friends are for life, starting the time we got to know each other until one of us is no longer on this earth. Lifelong friendship is a commitment, you know.
I am very lucky and blessed that I met best friends from schools, universities, online channels (Friendster, KoKi), and even from “official” emails. And my friendships are across age gaps, gender, races, religions, physical appearances. As long as we are of the same frequency. You are there for me, I will be there for you.
I also consider my husband as my best friend at the beginning. We can talk free of prejudice and he is one of very few male friends who can click with my brain and he is willing to keep learning in order to keep up with me. That is a very important point. Lifelong learning.
I can’t stand “stupid” people, i.e. I do not want to keep repeating myself. And I dislike people who refuse to learn. You need to have the will power to learn.
I am raised and genetically blessed with an excellent learning aptitude. Read my entry about my maternal grandma who only started reading Bible at age 55! That is part of my DNA.
That is why I don’t have patience with most of Indonesian human resource who refuse to learn. DTR (daya tangkap rendah) — slow in understanding is still acceptable, but unwillingness to learn is despicable for me.
No hard work and yet expect to be rich quickly. OMG. Mana ada kaya cepat? Anak orang kaya yang gak mau kerja at the end of the day cuma buang duit ortunya. Misal: Donald Trump vs. bapaknya. Kalau duit bapaknya dikonversi ke nilai sekarang, masih lebih besar jumlahnya daripada duitnya Donald Trump! (You can search the English article on this).
Not many people have my privilege of finding someone or few people with same frequency. If you find one, treasure her/him.
For a spouse, please find someone who is of same good frequency, same faith (easier to survive when you face adversaries in marriage life), same vision on your future, kids, financial target (ability to earn and manage money is important), willingness to share household chores and kids raising.
Mau tinggal di mana, siapa yang atur duit bulanan bayar tagihan listrik, air, sekolah, les, maintenance, angpao, dst. Pastikan pasangan hidupmu bukan gold digger yang mengincar asetmu/aset ortu/warisanmu nanti.
Tonton aja film/drama/sinetron semua bangsa/bahasa (Korea, Jepang, Cina, Hong Kong, Thailand, Spanyol, Brazil, Amrik, Inggris, Prancis, Portugis), masalahnya sama: pasangan yang tidak tulus, at the end hanya memperkaya diri untuk cari cowok/cewek lain. Sebagai penulis novel, aku bilang: ide cerita selalu terilhami oleh kisah nyata di sekitar!
Wealth management pensiun nanti. Jadi orang tua yang tidak merepotkan anak.
Many marriages fail because the couple never discussed beforehand about religion, money, household chores, and future kids.
Well, as I never officially dated my husband, I did not specifically discuss about those as well, but I knew that he was of the same page on religion and household chores. He learnt my perspective on money and kids. We struggle on how to be balanced parents — we want our kids to have self disciplines and yet enjoying their childhood. Age 3-4 are the most challenging, IMO. Lots of non-sense drama on food, sleep, toys. Thank God it is over.
I am not a tiger mom, but I can’t stand seeing my kids “do nothing” and still get perfect scores. Even with good genes, they still need to work hard to attain world class level. To discover a vaccine, to create some technologies… the list goes on. Anak harus lebih hebat daripada orang tua. At some point, aku mau anak2 juga sefrekuensi denganku soal misi hidup mereka “berguna bagi dunia”… I think they will be doing well.
